2009 的最后一天

倒数五小时，等待新的一年到来。二零零九年对我来说是一个充满梦想的一年，十分感激我许许多多的梦想都一一实现了。或许上天对我太好了以致在最后的一星期不让事情如我所愿。或许它在告诉我是时候放手了，是时候向前看了，为自己而冲刺，不要再为不珍惜你的人浪费时间。希望明天会更好吧2010！！！

莫名其妙

快乐的曰子过得很快，不开心的曰子却过得特别的慢。
很矛盾，又想时间过得快点因不想再受痛苦的折磨，却不想过得太快因还留恋。
也不知自己在留恋什么东西，就一种莫名的感觉。

这一刻我清楚知道你永远不会是属于我的。原来我的直觉还没退化，只是一直自己在否认自己所感受的。我想新的一年，是时候该有新的开始了，告诉自己加油吧！

真的如愿以偿吗？

今年的生日，还算不错啦！
至少不是一个人的度过。有朋友的陪伴。
许了个愿望，没在当天实现，
但总算第二天少许实现吧！
虽然不知道往后会有什么的结果，
但这一刻我还总算满足了！

谢谢！

心甘情愿？

不知道
那么做
会对自己带来什么结果；
好的？
坏的？
还是会自我摧残？

只知道
现时的我
还是
心甘情愿地
等待。。。

。。。奇迹的出现。。。

开心得太早了。。。

还以为；
那一点的假象，
会是一个好的转变；
还以为，
奇迹真的出现了；
还以为，
事情开始如我所愿；

原来，
一切的一切，
只是开心得太早了。。。。

You made my day!!

That phone call of you really made my day for the whole trip. I just can't keep smiling to myself for the entire trip.

However, the aftermath of it....

彷徨。矛盾。毫无头绪。

何苦呢？


Ah...... split personality again.....

为什么？

为什么总是要烟消云散的前一刻，
却撩起那仅剩的火种？
我。累了。

不想了，可以吗？

。。。。。。

原来。。。

一直在想见到你的她我会怎样。
原来，我心里会那么的不好受。
真不敢想像我可以怎样面对；
更不敢想像到时我还在这里到吗？

最遥远的距离

世界上最遥远的距离，就是我在你面前，你却不知道我喜欢你。。。
转过头的那一刻，我不停地在问自己，到底我想要什么；
驾着那漫长的车程时，脑里无时无刻都在反问自己想怎样；
要的是你的那一声问候吗，还是要的是自讨没趣，我不知道。
我想你永远都不会知道，叫了那一盘沙拉，我并不是在减肥，
其实只是我刚用过了晚餐，没告诉你；却应了与你共度晚餐的邀请。
站在那里等待的当儿，真的有点害怕；
怕你带着你的她出现在我面前，怕我不知道该怎么面对；
更害怕的是自己的不知所措。
我很清楚地知道，我不该在奢望什么，因为在这时候我实在没那个权利去奢望。
或许对你，我们纯粹是朋友；可是你那出乎预料的问候就是让我不舍得，不舍得放手。
深深的感受到上一句话。
我，彷徨。

Shoot again....

While waiting for the Working Holiday Travel Date to come, I continued to take up jobs to buck up my 'bullets' ---> money for the TRIP. And I was lucky enough to have work with Big International Star on this shoot. Shoot was tough under hot sun and I'm totally burnt within a day. Well, can't reveal much as the project is still on editing stage. Meanwhile can only show you photos, make a wild guess......and yes, this project involve a heli shot as well, unfortunately I didn't get a chance to board on the heli =(

静静的生日

已迈入第二年了。祝我生日快乐！

almost end of the year

it's already the 10th month of the year and reviewing the resolution that had been set this year, hmmm.....i don't think i have achieve any of that. Sad to say that, UK visa is still hanging, doesn't even know whether do I stand a chance looking at the situation now; not really improve on my photography skill except that I had sucessfully bought the 50mm lens. Diving - not yet as I can't even find an activity partner that would do that together with me not to say the $$ for that whole course. As for the someone, haaa.....I think I've almost give up. Not moving forward much also from my past either. Maybe I would have to wait for someone who I'd love more than the previous relationship....and that's the hardest part....

**I thought I've found, but it seems like it's just a "mirage"....however is still confused***

Soul search?

What's on earth is happening to me? One side of me ask myself to move on, another side of me is just unwilling to accept the fact.... Seriously doesn't know where my soul have been hiding away, having hard time to look for it....

Will there ever be someone who can be my mentor, to lead me through these .... to open my hearts???

Trash OUT

Have been having a lots of indescribable feelings recently, and mood change quite swiftly. Am used to be quite sensitive and accurate on my instinct, but recently, i just can't really tell whether they failed me or not. Lots of question just clotted my mind about why people react the way they react, about life issues, about human relationships, about career, about leadership, about the right way people should be treated, about my past, about the regrets and much much more.....a friend told me that I should try once in a while to let go myself, make myself go wild so that I don't think too much....but, I'm thinking, is that one day of 'trashing out' works for all the 'trash' that had been clotting my mind all these while?

leaving behind those memories....

It takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but it takes forever to forget them....
the more I wanted to forget, the more i remember. A friend asked, if given a chance, would you like to go back to your 19yrs old? Sweet 19, everyone has it, and me too. In my deep heart, of course, I wish to turn back. But knowing the fact that, it's impossible impossible. Regret is already useless at this point. I know so clearly that I NEED TO MOVE ON. I need to move forward, but past memories just kept gushing back bits by bits that had made my days so doomed.....Can someone just tell me how I can stop those memories from overcasting me? How can I leave behind all these and move on.......???

最想念的人

发现一篇对于我现时的心情蛮贴切的文章。。改编了少少。。。


以前爱过一个人 开心痴醉过
*但
因为时间..距离结果没有在一起 [或许爱情已消失了吧…………]
*但-感觉不会假*
有时会勾起回忆然后又一阵无奈

想念是种无情的痛
失去的酸楚无法形容
回忆是种放逐的梦
你依然教我承受情哀
你看不见我的心在痛
含泪在眼中多承重
你看得见我真的为爱感动
心不真爱不深心怎会痛
我是真的为你而付出

离开你的日子 我无疑有些难过
一直无法释怀 我对你的冷淡
对不起我不曾给你一个理由
只希望你快乐你幸福就足够

爱情太短促
曾经拥有后就是刻骨铭心
我不是不能忘不忘旧时的累积
也不分是脑是愁是悔在心头
在思潮起伏间它们包围着缠绕着
把所有快乐拦挡在这伤心的夜里

为什么想要的承诺
只能被微笑掠过
为什么想要的幸福
总是离我好远好远

承诺往往容易说出口
但实践太难…而我遵守对你的承诺
*等待* - *盼望*-
结果不是我想要……
我终于了解用情太深会无助
悄悄的孤独 不给你打扰的束缚


忘记你没法与记忆疏离
不是想逃离只怕承重的爱我负担不起
十年了…
告诉自己别再回首 哭泣的脸庞不应为你而落泪
别哭 我试着让自己残酷
让爱笑着结束
别再让我放不下一颗爱你的心

心里还再想着你吗?
错过的就不能再重头
这世界纷纷渺渺来去匆匆
曾经拥有真的已经足够吗
感谢能让我有爱上你的幸运
遗憾的是缘分太快消失………我很想念你
I’ll Remember To Love

[给我最想念的你]-

CNY = A time to remember the childhood sweet memories

CNY had always been the time when most of the frens gather from all around the world, the time when everyone is free and hangs out together, just for a chat. This year CNY is indeed an unpredictable one where we got a chance to get in touch with the next class childhood frens - 6K. Had been hanging out with some old frens (or should i say 'new' frens as I barely had any memories of them - what is in my mind is only their faces and some names) for these past two days. It's indeed interesting to meet someone new yet it seems like you should be knowing them for ages.Well, all I can say this is a short but satisfying meetup....

subconsciously depressed...

had the weirdest dream yesterday and believe it or not i cried not in my dream, but while i'm sleeping....everything is so true....and i can only say i'm subconsciously depressed. There's no other reason to explain this....